Sakura's Birthday
by inu382
Summary: Sakura only wants one thing for her birthday this year. Nevermind that it isn't really her birthday. [SasuNaru]
1. Chapter 1

Inu: I'm back, with another SasuNaru, 'cause there aren't enough. And I decided this time it'll be on going.

Warnings: Shounen ai (sorry, I ain't up to sex scenes just yet), cursing, and crazed fan girls on the loose

Summary: It's Sakura's birthday, and she only wants one thing this year...

Disclaimer: I wanna kill someone every time I'm reminded of this...

* * *

Have you ever met someone you just wanna kill? Like, jump up and down kill? Like really, really kill? Kill them till they're not 6, not 12, hell, not 18, but 24 feet under? Yeah, that's how I feel right now.

"Sakura...you look mad. Are you okay?" Ino asked.

"Sigh. Ino, can I talk to you?" I all but ground out through my teeth.

"Sure," we walk over to a secluded area in the training grounds, "What's up?"

"Well, Ino, as you know, I've been with Naruto and Sasuke longer than most people should if they want to stay sane."

She raised an eyebrow as if to say, 'You? Sane? Ha!'

"Anyway, I can tell they like each other. I've talked to them. They admit it to me, but they can't admit it to themselves or each other!"

"You mean...!"

"Yeah, that's right. There ain't gonna be no more Uchiha's or Uzumaki's running around after them, cause they're homosexual and in love with each other. Unless Naruto can get pregnant, I dunno. Maybe the kyuubi..."

"Ahem! Are you serious?...And why Naruto?"

"Yes, I'm serious, and Naruto because he'd obviously be the uke."

"True. But what can you do about it?"

"Oh, I'll tell you what I'm going to do...muhahah...muhahahah...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Ino backed away from me slightly, but it matters not! I had the most diabolical plan in my head, and I read a book that said if you feel evil satisfaction, laugh like acrazed hyena!

* * *

Naruto was happy today. Not only did he get to eat free ramen three times, one of the people who fed him was Sasuke! Plus, he went over to Sasuke's house, and while there, he peeked into his bathroom and got an image that would fuel his dreams for weeks.

Somewhere in Konoha, Sasuke sneezed.

Nothing could go wrong today! And then he looked forward and saw the scariest sight in the world.

No, it wasn't a close-up of Lee's eyebrows.

No, it wasn't a close-up of _Gai-sensei's_ eyebrows.

It was Sakura. Running. At him. At an alarming speed. One that would surely run poor Naruto over. So Naruto did the first thing that came into his mind.

"AHHHHHH!"

He screamed.

"NARUTO!"

He fell over with the force of the impact, and grinned stupidly at the stars above his head.

Sakura sighed and slapped him awake, "C'mon Naruto, wake up!"

"Huh? Sakura-chan? What's up?"

Naruto could swear the grin on her face wasn't human.

"Guess what day it is."

"Uh...Ramen festival day?"

"...No."

Ino ran up to them, panting. She could understand that with training from Tsunade and sparring with Sasuke and Naruto that Sakura would become much better and a lot faster, but that was inhuman! And one look at Naruto's face told her that the blonde was thinking the very same thing.

_Oh, poor poor you, Naruto._

"Uh, I give up. What day is it?"

"It's my birthday!"

"Oh! Happy birthday Sakura-chan! I'm sorry, I must've forgotton..." Naruto could've sworn her birthday was in 7 months...

"That's okay! You know what you can do to make it up to me?"

"What?"

There was that grin again, and Ino gave Naruto a sympathetic look.

Said blonde didn't know whether to laugh or cry.


	2. Invites

Inu: Yo! I'm back! Sorry about the delay, but I needed inspiration! So I needed some of my favorite authors to finally clear up a cliffhanger! Lucky for you, LadywolfTerri updates quickly!

Disclaimer: -breaks down and cries-

* * *

"You want me to throw you a birthday party?"

"Yes!"

Naruto blinked. That was the first time Sakura wanted him to do anything..._at all_...for her, at least.

"Uh, okay. Who do you want me to invite?"

"Write this down Naruto!"

Naruto gave her a flat glare. '_Because I can magically conjure up paper and pen out of the wee crevices of my ass,_' he thought. Regardless, he sighed, ran to Shino's place (since it was the closest), and after a fight with about 200 bugs (which he lost), got a paper and pen.

"Alright...go."

"You look a bit beat up, Naruto..." Ino began worriedly.

Naruto glared.

Beat up wasn't even half of it.

Naruto's clothes were horribly ripped, and holes were cut in terribly suggestive places, courtesy of the moths. Naruto had finally grown out his hair a bit, looking like the Yellow Flash himself, but the damn bugs ate at his hair too, giving him his original hair style.

'_I _knew_ Shino was glaring at my hair..._'

Scratches and occasional burn marks were all over him, and in his hands lay the untouched paper and pen.

"Just get on with it," he grumbled moodily.

"Okay," Sakura began, "I want you to invite, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, you of course, Sasuke-kun, and the rest of the rookie nine plus Tenten, Lee, and Neji and our sensei's."

"Okay," Naruto nodded as he finished writing the names.

"Naruto, it better be a great party! Because I only want one thing this year!"

"What would that be, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura's demonic grin was back on her face, and both Ino and Naruto backed away.

"Nothing. Let's just say...it'll please me. And if it doesn't happen..." she grabbed Naruto's shirt collar and pulled him nose to nose with her, vein twitching angrily on her large forehead, "You'll be the first one on my new hit list, Naruto."

Naruto whimpered. _Gaara, why didn't I let you kill her the first time we met?

* * *

_

Naruto had never been so sadistic before today. Before, he was happy-go-lucky and wished death upon no one.

Oh, how drastically that changed.

The only person that Naruto refused to wish death on was Uchiha Sasuke. His rival, his best, closest, first, most precious friend, his savior from the lonely darkness of that hell he used to suffer, his light when his thoughts turn black, and of course...the only person in the whole of Konoha that could make him squeal like a fan girl.

Said "fan-girl option" bringer was walking past Hallmark (Konoha style) and glanced through the window to see the brightest thing ever.

No, not the sun (hiss).

No, not Lee's smile.

No, not _Gai-sensei's_ smile.

And no, definitely not Chip Skylark's shiny-as-fuck teeth (not that he watched that show).

It was none other than Uzumaki Naruto, smiling happily while looking at some birthday invites, with his usual orange jumpsuit. Except the jumpsuit was torn in places that Sasuke did not like.

'_Is that...Dear god...Is that a hole by his _crotch'

Sasuke immediately stalked in, ignoring the gasps coming from some of his fan girls.

Meanwhile, said fan girls were going over their notes on Sasuke extensively.

"This makes no sense!" one said.

"Sasuke-kun never goes into any store that is anything happier than Hot Topic or Spencers!" another cried.

"For him to go to hallmark...oh my god!" a third one fainted at the thought.

But, I digress.

Sasuke tapped Naruto's shoulder as said blonde was hunched over looking at some more cards.

Sasuke smirked. How he'd _love_ to get Naruto in that position while they...

'_NOT the time to fantasize._'

Naruto blinked, glanced over his shoulder then smiled brightly and stood straight.

"Hey Sasuke! I never thought I'd see you in a place like this!"

Sasuke blinked, "Why is that?"

"I think this place is too dark for you."

"Oh. Ha. Ha."

"Anyway, what are you doing here?"

"Uh..."

'_Oh yes, I'm supposed to say, "Oh, I saw you in here, and I saw that it looked like you were just fucked senseless, so I wanted to know if you still have your virginity!" He'd freak, make a scene, THEN kill me._'

"Oh! You must already know about Sakura-chan's birthday! You finally decided to get her a card at least, eh?"

'_Thank the god's for his stupidity...wait._'

"Sakura's birthday is in 7 months, Naruto."

"She said it was tomorrow."

"No, it's in 7 months."

"We'll, I guess she wants a surprise party. What better way to surprise them if they don't know about it and if it's early!"

"Naruto...she knows."

"No she doesn't. Now help me pick out an invite."

'_Just how dense are you, Naruto?_'

"Uh, Naruto?"

"What now, Sasuke?"

"How did you...er...I mean...your clothes..."

"Oh! I had a fight with Shino's bugs, so they decided to make my jumpsuit look like hell."

"That explains a lot...I think. And your hair?"

"Damn those bugs."

"I think I'll stop asking."

Sasuke sighed, and looked around the shelf for a nice invite, sneaking a peek at Naruto's ass, then smirked (smirk, not smile. Uchiha's don't smile), and picked one. It was a Spongebob one, with Gary at the front saying "you're invited!" and when it was opened, the "Fun Song" started playing.

"Let's pick this one."

"Good idea, Sasuke-teme!"

"Dobe."

"Ass."

"Usuratonkachi."

"Baka. Baka baka baka!"

"What did you call me, retard?"

"I'm not slow!"

"Coulda fooled me."

"Hey!"

"Hey, you two love-birds!" the shop keep called to them, irritated, "Buy something, or you can take your flirting outside."

Both boys blushed, and the blonde picked out 25 invites, paid, and left, Sasuke beside him.

"We totally weren't flirting..." Naruto trailed off.

"Of course not. They're just stupid," Sasuke continued.

"I mean, just because you let out a few more sentences than usual..."

"And just because you happen to be talking to me like a normal person..."

"So totally does not mean we were flirting," they finished simultaneously, "Right."

"So, uh, let's go hand out these invites!"

"Aah, dobe."

"Don't call me that, you monkey humper!"

"EHH!"

* * *

It figured that Naruto only had one jumpsuit left. The rest were at the cleaners. Said one jumpsuit was the one he was wearing. After a while of whining and puppy eyes, Sasuke caved and lent Naruto some of his clothes, and if it weren't for the sunshine-bright smile, the crystalline blue eyes, and the sunflower yellow blonde hair (not to mention the happy attitude), Sasuke and Naruto would look like twins in those clothes.

But since they didn't look like twins, the fact that they wore the same clothes, and that Naruto looked like he'd been fucked senseless earlier that day raised other suspicions.

Suspicions along the lines, "Oh my god, Uchiha and Uzumaki are already at third base!"

And that's the clean version.

Regardless, Naruto and Sasuke walked around Konoha, side by side, and headed to their first drop-off destination.

Shino's house.

Naruto shuddered.


	3. A note to the readers

This is not a chapter. This is a letter to the readers.

Sorry about the delay in chapter 3. It's ready, I swear, but the problem is that is having some issues, so it'll have to wait. Sorry for the inconvenience to the few that read.


	4. Mail Order Idiots

Inu: Yo. Sorry about the delay

Disclaimer:……..shut up

Inu: The time thing about Sakura's birthday...Sakura told Naruto it was the day she ran him over, which is "today" in the story. Naruto then says that the party is "tomorrow." Then, in this chapter, it's in two days. Two days would count as "today" and "tomorrow." Sorry about that.

* * *

Sasuke sighed.

"Naruto, stop hiding. It's _just_ Shino's house. They won't attack you this time."

Said blonde was currently hiding behind Sasuke, shaking slightly. "I-I am not hiding!"

"Naruto, you're pathetic," Sasuke muttered as he knocked on the door.

As expected, Shino opened the door, dressed in his usual clothes. His bugs were crowding around him, and Naruto swore they were watching him. Shino, Naruto, and Sasuke stood there, just staring at each other for about 10 minutes. Finally, Shino closed the door.

"Wh-What the!" Sasuke blinked.

"EVIL! EVIL I SAY!" Naruto shrieked. Of course, Naruto hadn't forgotten what Shino did to him in the Konoha Sports Festival(1).

Sasuke gave him one of his usual cool looks, shook his head, and knocked again.

Shino opened the door again, irritated. "What?"

"Here," Sasuke said, shoving the invite into his hands, "It's for Sakura's birthday. Go, or I will kill you."

Shino raised an eyebrow.

"Sasuke! That's not how you invite someone to a party! Here, lemme do it," Naruto scolded, stepping out beside Sasuke, "Hey Shino! Please come to Sakura-chan's birthday party! She'd like it very much if you came! Thank you very much!" he bowed respectfully.

"Naruto," Shino's cryptic voice made Naruto stand up straight immediately, "Sakura's birthday is in 7 months."

"Yeah, but it's a surprise. She said to invite you."

"It's not a surprise if she knows."

"Just shut up, Naruto," Sasuke intervened. "And you, just go."

Naruto shook his head, giving the bugs a glare, then walked towards the next house. As soon as Naruto was out of hearing range, Sasuke turned back to Shino, grabbing his collar and pulling him close, his all famous Uchiha Death Glare full force.

"And if your bugs EVER touch him again, you might just not be able to go," Sasuke whispered in a deadly voice, before smiling happily at him, letting him go, and walking away.

_If there is anything scarier than a scowling Uchiha…_

Shino shivered, and stalked into his house, making sure that not only would he go to the party, he was now officially Naruto's bitch.

_It has to be a _smiling_ Uchiha._

* * *

Naruto smiled, running to Hinata's house. Sasuke was following him leisurely, scowling. If there was anything Sasuke hated more than someone hurting Naruto…

"Hinata-chan!"

It was someone _liking_ Naruto.

While Sasuke caught up, the blonde ninja waiting impatiently at Hinata's doorstep of her huge mansion-like home, bouncing up and down. Naruto _loved_ Hinata. She was kind, pretty, smart, helpful, and even though she was shy, she was strong. Of course, that didn't mean Naruto _loved_ loved Hinata. He thought of her as his sister.

Just as Sasuke neared the door, Hinata's trembling hand opened the door, and she shyly smiled. She didn't wear her normal outfit though. No, not the one that covered her chest and made her look pretty, but slightly geeky and reminded you that the Hyuuga sense of style sucked. She decided to wear the one that showed off her curves today.

Sasuke cursed his luck.

She wore a tight light purple tank top, with a long sleeve black fishnet shirt over it. A light purple skirt finished her little ensemble, reaching to about mid-thigh. She had stopped wearing it for a while because once Kakashi and Jiraiya found out she had a promising chest and body, they immediately promised to watch her when she was older.

Poor Hinata.

"Na-Naruto-kun…Sasuke-kun. Wh-Why are you here? Oh! N-Not that I mean I-I don't want you here, it's ju-just that you're ne-never here, a-and—"

"I understand Hinata-chan!" Naruto smiled amiably, "We're here to invite you to Sakura-chan's birthday party!"

Hinata blinked.

"Please Hinata, don't try telling him that it makes no sense. His mind is warped." Sasuke warned.

Hinata nodded, and smiled, "I-I'd love to go, Naruto-kun."

Naruto grinned brightly and gave her an invite. She opened it and giggled. "Thank you, Naruto-kun. Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke nodded, and began walking away, but Hinata stopped him, "A-Aren't you going to invite Neji-nii-san?"

Sasuke groaned loudly and Naruto cheered. "That's right! Neji lives here too! Could you give this to him for us?" Naruto asked, handing her an invite.

"Give what to who?" Neji asked, half asleep, and he opened the door wider, revealing himself in his pajamas.

Let's take a look, shall we?

Neji's pajamas were light purple, like his eyes, but were covered in cows and cookies and "moo's." Neji was wearing monkey socks on his feet, and had a sleeping cap on his head, just as ridiculous as Naruto's.

"Uh, Neji-nii-san, maybe you should go change…" Hinata meekly requested.

Neji woke up completely, looked at the two boys at his doorstep, and looked at himself, then ran inside, at a speed that defied Sakura's frightening pace, determined to regain the few bits of dignity the Hyuuga still possessed. Hinata giggled again, then, "Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun, would you like to come in so you may invite him yourself?"

"Yes!"

"No."

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other, and after staring at Naruto's perfected puppy pout for 5 seconds, Sasuke caved. As they walked inside, following Hinata to the living area, Sasuke still prided himself on lasting that long.

Neji caved in at 2 seconds.

Lee's time didn't count. As soon as he heard the whimper, he was Naruto's bitch.

Just like Shino was now. Sasuke snickered.

Hinata and Naruto both exchanged looks, each glancing at Sasuke's satisfied yet maniacal smirk then shrugged and sat down, waiting for Neji.

Said byakugan user was descending the stairs in his usual attire, a slight blush on his cheeks.

"So, Uchiha, Naruto, what have you come for?" he asked.

"Sasuke and I are here to invite you to a party for Sakura-chan's birthday!" Naruto said, smiling.

Neji opened his mouth, and both Hinata and Sasuke shook their heads. Neji nodded then smiled at Naruto.

"How nice…insane, but nice."

Sasuke handed him the invite, and Neji sat closely beside his cousin, examining it.

"While we're here, why not catch up?" Naruto suggested.

Sasuke wanted to strangle him. Neji concurred. Hinata was thrilled.

"So, how's the Hyuuga family these days?" Sasuke asked, as politely as possible.

"It is wonderful!" Hiashi, Hinata's father, said…in a very Gai-like pose.

The boys blinked. The Hyuuga cousins blushed.

"Why is that, Hiashi-sama?" Naruto asked, curious.

"My daughter is engaged! And to someone with such talent no less!" Hiashi gave a maniacal laugh, then skipped off to tell the whole world.

His whole world consisted of his shrine to Britney Spears (Konoha style).

"You're engaged, Hinata-chan? To who!" Naruto bounced excitedly.

"Pr-Promise you won't get grossed out?" she asked, blushing madly.

"If you say it's Kiba, then I promise nothing. You can do better," Sasuke stated.

Neji snorted, agreeing completely, "Much better."

"W-Well, I'm engaged t-to….Neji-nii-san."

Naruto blinked. Sasuke blinked. Gai-sensei did a "Dynamic Entry" somewhere on the other side of the village. Finally:

"WHAT!" Naruto outburst.

"Was it arranged?" Sasuke asked, deciding to be the lesser of two evils. Just because he was surprised didn't mean he was going to be hysterical too.

"N-No," she said, blushing more.

"I proposed to her a few days ago," Neji clarified, "Ever since we were little, I always thought she was cute."

"Awwww, that's so sweet!" Naruto cooed.

"Are you going to tell the others?" Sasuke asked.

"I don't know. I don't think we should. Between the two of us, the Hyuuga blood will run strongly in our children, but we are cousins. It probably will be frowned upon," Neji responded, his voice quieting. Hinata also looked somewhat depressed.

"And because we're cousins, we have similar DNA. So while the children may inherit the Hyuuga talent…they may also suffer as well," Hinata added.

"Well…I support you no matter what!" Naruto said, smiling brightly, "Nothing should come between love."

Sasuke nodded his agreement, and the Hyuuga's smiled at them.

"You should get going to the other invitees," Neji trailed off.

"Yeah, we should," Sasuke said, standing.

Naruto stood too, and hugged Hinata, "Good luck Hinata-chan!"

Hinata giggled and hugged him back affectionately.

"Actually," Sasuke began, "Why don't you come with us?"

"Could we, Sasuke-kun? It would be nice to get out of the house," Hinata smiled.

"Of course. I wouldn't mind having a man to man talk with Neji. I can't have that with Naruto. He's too uke."

Naruto scowled, and the others laughed.

"Hiashi-sama! Hinata-sama and I are going out!" Neji called to the backroom.

"Don't come back until I see some grandkids!" Hiashi called back.

* * *

The once duo-now-quartet walked to their next destination of the day, Hinata and Neji holding hands, while Naruto and Sasuke linked pinky's.

Naruto figured it was manlier than holding hands. Sasuke knew it was gayer than "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

Regardless, the four chuunin walked past the post office, causing Sasuke to stop in his tracks.

"What is it, Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"Couldn't we just mail them? I mean, the stupid party is in like, two days," he stated, "The invites would arrive by tomorrow, giving them time to RSVP."

Naruto blinked, then slowly walked to the nearest wall, and began banging his head.

Hinata looked worriedly at her blonde friend, "W-Will he be okay?"

Neji shook his head, "Oh, Hinata-chan. He was _never_ okay."

* * *

Neji, Hinata, Sasuke, and Naruto all sat at Ichiraku's after Naruto's episode with the wall. They had, after all, decided to mail the invites instead, and have the rest of the day to plan the party.

"So, I think Sakura's favorite color is black," Naruto began.

"Funny, Naruto. So, pink it is. What kind of cake are we getting her?" Sasuke asked.

"I-I can bake her a 3 layer cake. The bottom layer chocolate, the middle layer vanilla, and the top layer can be ice cream cake," Hinata suggested.

"That's a great idea. I can use my Jyuuken: Divine Whirl to easily decorate," Neji said.

"Great! Thanks guys! What can you do, Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"Duh. I am an Uchiha, the only living non-evil one at that. I can get us the best place to have it for free, guaranteed," Sasuke said with a smug grin.

"And if you can't?" Neji asked.

"Don't be surprised then if there's blood on the walls."

"Uh, let's just have it at your house, Uchiha," he suggested.

"Wh-What about you Naruto?" Hinata asked.

"I figure the invites was enough, but I guess I can be bouncer for the party. We don't want anyone who wasn't invited," Naruto replied.

"Why not?" Neji asked.

"Pfft! They'll go straight for the cake!"

"Like someone else I know…" Sasuke muttered.

"I heard that."

"Usuratonkachi."

"Baka!"

"Dobe!"

"Teme!"

"Can you guys do that in the bedroom? Sheesh, you're like a married couple," Neji sighed.

Hinata giggled as the two ninja in question blushed deeply.

"So, what are you going to get Sakura-san for a present, Naruto?" Hinata asked, changing the subject.

"Oh! That's right! I don't know. She said she only wanted one thing this year, but she won't tell me what. She said if she doesn't get it, I'm on her new hit list," he responded.

Sasuke sighed, shaking his head, "Why didn't you let Gaara kill her when we had the chance?"

"I ask myself that every moment of my life now."

"I thought you guys loved Sakura," Neji said.

"We do," Naruto replied.

"But not when our lives are in danger," Sasuke finished.

"Oh, what a happy friendship that is."

* * *

1 In the Konoha Sports Festival, a little short before the first Naruto movie, Naruto desperately needs to go to the bathroom, and when he finally gets the chance, Shino stops him and uses his bugs to drag him out into the next race. 


	5. A note to the readers again

Inu: This is not a chapter.

It's a thank you letter.

Really, I can't thank you guys enough. I mean, I was just having the most horrid day right now, and I went online to check my mail, and suddenly I see your reviews. You guys really make writing—hell, trying—worth while.

I was going to delay chapter 4 "Race for Naru-chan's love!" for about a week, but thanks to you guys, I'm gonna work all night to finish it and have it up by tomorrow afternoon!

Give yourselves a pat on the back. You're my inspiration, and you've just earned an early chapter. Congrats.


	6. Race for Naruchan's love!

Inu: Sorry about the one-day delay. One of my reviewers already knows what happened.

* * *

"Hinata-chan," Naruto groaned, "We're done here! Sasuke's house may as well look like Sakura-chan's twin!" 

Naruto wasn't exaggerating. The Uchiha mansion was flourished in pink decorations, presents, flowers, and anything they could find to make the pink-living girl squeal in delight. Neji sat beside Naruto, exhausted.

"He's right, love. Please…no more…" Neji whimpered, and ran to the bathroom again.

One too many _Hakkeshoo Kaiten's_ made him feel a little sick.

Naruto gave a weak smile and then looked at the doorway, where a flour-covered Sasuke stood.

"What's your issue?" he asked.

"The cake exploded on me," was the simple explanation, and he stalked off to the bathroom.

Naruto laughed, as did Hinata.

"Naruto-kun? What are you going to get Sakura for her birthday?" Hinata asked.

Naruto grinned at her. Slowly, his grin went to a smile, a smirk, a frown, and all of a sudden, he jumped up screaming bloody Mary.

"Naruto-kun! What's wrong!" Hinata cried, grabbing him.

"Sakura-chan's going to kill meeee!" he wailed miserably, "I forgot about that! I don't KNOW what she wants! She hasn't told me!"

Hinata blinked, "Did she give you a hint?" Naruto began to cry more.

"That's a yes…well, what is it?"

"She said it's the only thing she wants for her birthday," Naruto mumbled, calming down.

"Well then, let's go find out what it is," Sasuke said, in a new outfit, completely clean.

"Yeah, but how? She won't say!"

"Then, we'll draw out some more clues from her, then search for what she wants!" Hinata offered.

"Good idea, Hinata," Sasuke commended.

"Don't hit on my girl," Neji mumbled, sitting down. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Well then, what are we waiting for!"

"For Sasuke to stop hitting on Hinata," Neji growled.

They all ignored his comment, and Naruto continued, "Let's goo!"

* * *

"Hello Hinata!" Sakura smiled. Out of nowhere, Hinata appeared in front of her, out of breath. 

"H-hello Sakura-san. Do-Do you have any more clues as to what Naruto-kun should get you for your birthday?"

"What?" Sakura blinked.

Hinata looked up and saw a sign behind Sakura's head. The boys (well, Sasuke and Neji, Naruto was too short, but he was pointing and jumping) were holding it up, and on it was a written message in _horrible_ hiragana.

"Uhm…what do you wont…? Oh, I mean, want…for your bitch day? I mean birthday!" Hinata read.

Sakura blinked, nodded slowly and smiled amiably. "Well, Hinata, I'll give you a few clues. It has to do with two people. Two very stubborn people who are very close to me and just won't get together! I mean, seriously! I'll see you later Hinata!" and Sakura ran off to see Ino at her store.

Hinata ran back to the boys and told them what she was told.

"It has to be….Shikamaru and Ino! They're stubborn!" Naruto said.

"Naruto, you fool, Ino has a thing for a kid named Kenji, and Shikamaru is with Temari, Gaara's sister," Sasuke said.

"Oh. How'd you know that?"

"She tells me _everything_," Sasuke groaned.

"Well then, who else is close to her that won't hook up?" Neji asked.

"Lee-san!" Hinata said, "Don't you think Sakura would like to be with Lee-san? She's too shy to admit it, but she got over Sasuke-kun, and has fallen for Lee-san! She's so stubborn about her feelings, though, she won't give him a chance, and Lee-san's stubborn too! He won't give up on asking her out!" Hinata clarified.

"Maybe that's what she wants!" Naruto smiled.

"So…now we're playing matchmaker?" Sasuke asked.

"Looks like it. And we've only got 24 hours to get this done," Neji informed them.

"Then we need more help! Hinata-chan might be great with this stuff, but let's face it guys. We're hopeless when it comes to match making," Naruto said.

After a long while, the other two boys reluctantly agreed.

"Then let's ask Ino for help! She'll know what to do!" Naruto said, grinning.

"Tenten too. She knows Lee's….'intimate' thoughts," Neji said.

"Great! Let's find them!"

As the others walked ahead, Sasuke scowled. Somehow, he knew this was all some wild goose chase horribly plotted by an insane authoress somewhere, probably laughing at what she's doing to them right now.

Sasuke shook his head. Now he just was being paranoid.

* * *

The four ninja stealthily arrived to Ino's shop before Sakura, and managed to kidnap the willing blonde.

"Ino, we need your help," Sasuke said.

"Sure, but why did you go all Mission Impossible on me?" Ino asked.

* * *

_FLASHBACK

* * *

_

Naruto was humming the theme to Mission Impossible as Sasuke and Neji sneaked into the store, told Ino what they were doing, knocked her out with gas, tied her up, and stuffed her in a bag. Then, as Sasuke carried the bag out, Neji cleared everything of evidence, and wiped anything they might have touched, then followed the dark-haired prodigy. Naruto reached the climax of the song, signaling that Sakura was coming, and the 3 male nin escaped while Hinata stayed behind, using genjutsu to make herself look like Ino, so she could get more information.

* * *

_FLASHBACK END_

* * *

Sasuke blushed unwillingly, and turned away. "I-It was a code, alright!" 

Ino giggled and nodded. "Riiiight. Naruto probably convinced you into it."

Sasuke blushed more and turned to Neji, "You interrogate her!"

Neji sighed and stood, "Ino, we need to know what Sakura wants from Naruto for her birthday."

"Oh, that. I can't say."

"Why not?"

"Duh, I'm her best friend. I don't tell you guys anything."

"Ugh. This is getting us nowhere. Sasuke, hit on her."

"What? No!" Sasuke growled.

"Do it!"

"No!"

"DO IT!"

"NO!"

Ino looked on with interest.

"WHY NOT?"

"_Because I like someone else!_" Sasuke shouted at the top of his lungs, then regretted it as he heard a rustle.

"What was that?" Neji whispered.

"We're not safe here….fan girls," Sasuke said.

"Are you serious? How dangerous can a bunch of girls be?" Neji asked.

"Have you ever seen _me_ scared?" Sasuke asked.

"No."

"You're about to. RUN!" Sasuke shouted as he ran away.

"….He's running away…like a little girl…" Neji said, shaking his head. A second later, Naruto was running behind Sasuke, screaming bloody Mary, and Ino was running with him.

"Jeez! What's the big issue!.?" Neji asked and turned around.

He found out, foot-to-face-style, what the big issue was.

* * *

Naruto, Sasuke, and Ino found a trampled Neji back at a lake near their rendezvous point. 

"Told you," Sasuke said.

Neji gave him a glare, and continued washing his face.

"Ino, can't you tell us anything?" Naruto pleaded.

"Nope," Ino said, putting her foot down.

Naruto gave her a perfected puppy face, but even that didn't work.

Naruto looked at Sasuke, and Sasuke nodded. It was time to use the ultimate weapon. The only thing they could do to get her to agree. A power so dangerous, they had never tried it before, but it was time to test it.

Ino looked at Sasuke and Naruto and gasped.

Both of them had perfected puppy faces on, and were whimpering and huddling around her.

"Pwease Ino-chan!" They said in unison, in cute chibi voices, "Pwease give us a cwue!"

Neji shook his head, unbelieving.

Ino cracked and hugged them, "You guys are sooo cute! Alright, I'll tell you."

"Yay!" They cheered, and did a cute handshake to keep it going.

Neji just about fainted. Ino squealed and sat down.

"Okay, I can only give you a clue. It has nothing to do with your idea about Sakura and Lee. They already decided to hook up yesterday. It's two _boys_ who refuse to see the truth."

"Two boys, huh?" Naruto asked. Sasuke was starting to get suspicious.

"Two boys…one of them is Naruto right?"

Ino nodded and Naruto gaped.

Sasuke nodded, a determined look on his face.

The race was on for Naruto-chan's love!

* * *

Neji, Ino, Sasuke, and Naruto walked through Konoha. Naruto was grumbling angrily as Neji and Ino put up signs saying: 

"Are you in love with Naruto!.? Are you a boy!.? Good for you! The race is on for Naruto's love! Hurry! You have until tomorrow!"

Sasuke was angry too. He didn't need competition!

A few of the flyers were even sent to other hidden villages, and in a few hours, boys that Naruto met and changed lined up at the gates of Konoha to meet their…beau.

TBC

* * *

Inu: Hope you liked it! I might try to put up an early chapter for real again, since I have no homework today. 


	7. Interviewing

Inu: Early Chapter! Oh yes, and to Guakamori, one of the reviewers, Sasuke and Naruto aren't going out. Sorry if it seemed like it did.

* * *

Sasuke's eye twitched as he looked beyond the gates of Konoha. Lined up were boys, all his age, holding the flyers Ino had sent to their villages. Neji and Naruto, meanwhile, were interviewing them at a table right in front of the gates. He remembered a few of them, but others he didn't.

_They must've come around after I left…_he thought.

Ino was watching Sasuke closely, smirking. It was only a matter of time before he cracked and…

"Ino, can I talk to you?" he asked.

Ino smirked more, nodding, "Of course, Sasuke-kun."

"Alone."

"Of course, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke didn't like that tone. It was like she knew something…

* * *

"You already knew!" Sasuke nearly shouted.

"Yep. Sakura told me," Ino said, smiling.

Sasuke had finally admitted to someone that he was in love with Naruto. No, it wasn't a crush, and it wasn't an infatuation. It was love. And when he said it out loud, it sounded so right.

What didn't sound right was that Ino and Sakura knew!

"How?" Sasuke asked.

"Sakura said you admitted it to her unconsciously."

"Wha?"

"She got you drunk, and you told her everything."

"…Are you serious?"

"Yep. She did the same to Naruto."

Now Sasuke was interested.

"When!.? What did he say!.?" he asked frantically.

"I'll never tell," Ino said, winking, then skipped to the gates.

"But you better tell him soon," she called over her shoulder, "Or you might lose him…"

Sasuke lowered his head, solemn. He didn't want to lose Naruto to another boy. He didn't want to lose Naruto to anyone. He wanted to make Naruto see how he felt for him. He wanted Naruto to see only him—only Sasuke. And there was only one way to do that.

Sasuke walked outside the gates, ripping a flyer off a tree, and waited at the back of the line, a determined look in his eyes. He had decided.

_I won't lose to anyone. Naruto is _mine.

* * *

Naruto was blushing like crazy.

"Are you sure you don't have a fever? You've been red for an hour already…" Neji trailed, as he waved away Sumaru from the Hidden Star village.(i)

"I'm sure! I'm just embarrassed that we're actually doing this…How will we even know who's the guy Sakura-chan wants me to be with!.?" Naruto asked.

"Well duh. Obviously, it's the guy you fall head-over-heels fo—oh my god," Neji said, staring at the next boy in the line.

Naruto looked up too, and gasped.

Sabaku no Gaara.

* * *

Sasuke sighed, growing impatient. Just how many boys are in this line! And ALL of them are gay! That was just impossible! Now he was SURE that some authoress out there was out to get him.

"How's it going, Sasuke-kun?" Ino asked, walking over beside him.

"I don't know. It's taking forever."

"Why not….cut?" Ino suggested slyly.

"Cut?" Sasuke asked, "You can get me ahead?"

"Of course!"

Sasuke smiled gratefully, "Thanks!"

_Sasuke-kun's never smiled like that to me…_Ino thought.

"Sasuke…you really love Naruto, don't you?" Ino asked, seriously.

Sasuke's smile disappeared, and he looked down, nodding.

"I love him more than anything, Ino. I would do anything for him. Anything and everything, only for him. And…it hurts, when I think about how I might never have him. But now, I have a chance at him. I _need_ this chance Ino," he said with so much emotion, it hurt Ino's heart too.

The blonde-haired girl looked at him sympathetically, and finally, she caved.

_Sasuke-kun would do this for me, so…_

"Sasuke-kun, I'm not supposed to say anything, but…" Ino leaned up and whispered into his ear, "Naruto's most likely gonna pick you." Sasuke looked stunned for a minute.

"Ino, you are my new best friend!" Sasuke exclaimed, grinning, and crushing her in a hug.

Ino was shocked, and was lacking air, but still, she managed a smile, and as soon as Sasuke let her go, she took his hand and led him up to the middle. None of the boys complained though. After all, who was going to argue with Ino when she threatened to kick them out if they said anything?

Sasuke never loved any girl as much as he loved Ino right that moment. And for a gay man, that was saying something.

* * *

"Ga-Gaara?" Naruto asked.

"Hello, Naruto," Gaara said, in his usual calm voice.

"YOU want Naruto?" Neji asked.

Gaara began to blush ever so slightly, "He…changed me."

Naruto and Neji blinked. Then…

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" Neji guffawed, tears coming to his eyes.

Naruto was still stunned. Gaara, THE Gaara, wanted _him_? Finally, Naruto shook his head, and hit Neji over the head to silence him.

"Ahaha…," Neji calmed down, then looked serious, "If Naruto was your boyfriend, what would you do for him?"

"Anything and everything. I would always be there for him, no matter what," Gaara responded, sincere.

Naruto and Neji were taken aback, and looked at one another. Neji began laughing again, and Naruto blinked, and shook his head.

_Someone hates me, _he thought.

* * *

Sasuke and Ino had continued to cut until there were right behind the boy right behind the boy being interviewed at the moment (in other words, behind the guy behind Gaara).

"Sasuke-kun, since I helped you…" Ino trailed.

"I will be your slave for 3 years," he responded.

Ino laughed, "No, no, I only want one thing for Sakura's 'birthday' too."

"What's that?"

Ino sighed, and pointed to farther back in the line, where Kenji, the boy Ino liked, stood.

"Are you serious?" Sasuke asked, left eye twitching slightly.

"What can I do to make him like me?"

Sasuke thought for a second, then smirked. He may be no match-maker, but he could fix _this_. He walked over to Kenji, Ino holding his spot in line.

"Kenji, right?" Sasuke asked passively.

"Yes, how may I help you, Sasuke-san?" Kenji asked politely.

"Why do you want Naruto?"

Kenji blushed, and looked away. "Well, you see…I love blonde hair, and Naruto-kun was always nice to me."

"Wasn't there _any_ other blonde that was nice to you?"

Of course Sasuke already knew about Kenji's obsession with blondes. Now, all he had to do was make this dolt see _another_ blonde that wasn't _his_ blonde.

Kenji looked pensive, and Sasuke grew impatient, finally grabbing Kenji's head with his hands, and turning him to look at Ino.

"Ino-san?"

"Yeah, Ino."

"B-But she would never like someone like—"

* * *

"Naruto, please, give me a chance," Gaara pleaded.

"I-I don't know," Naruto said, looking away. For some reason, Gaara seemed like a good choice, but there was something, _someone_, on his mind that was holding him back from saying "yes." He knew, but at the same time, he didn't. He couldn't put his finger on it. After all, they had almost the same cold attitude, and…

And it wasn't Gaara he wanted.

It was Neji!

_I think? Maybe Lee? Or maybe I want Shikamaru…

* * *

_

"Sasuke-kun, I can't believe you knocked him out," Ino sighed, looking at Kenji's unconscious body that Sasuke had dragged over.

"He was getting annoying with the whole," he continued in a high-pitched, irritating voice, "'Ino-san wouldn't love me! I'm not good enough for her!'"

"So you knocked him out?"

"Maybe he'll wake up with an epiphany."

Ino rolled her eyes, but smiled nevertheless, and looked down when she heard Kenji groan.

Sasuke rolled his eyes in return, sat Ino down, and put Kenji's head on her lap.

"_There_," he said.

Ino blushed, and smiled, just as Kenji opened his eyes.

"I-Ino-san?"

"Hey Kenji-kun. Are you okay? You got knocked out by a rock that fell."

"A rock? I thought it was Sasuke-san?"

Sasuke whistled innocently.

"No, no, it was a rock. I swear," Ino said, smiling.

Kenji smiled shyly, "If you say so."

Sasuke could practically see the little hearts between those two.

One couple down, one to go!

* * *

"Just pick him already!" Neji whispered, "We'll be here all day if you don't! And how can you say no to those eyes?"

Naruto looked into Gaara's eyes and shivered.

"Gaara seems like a good choice, but there's some else! I feel it! Someone with eyes that warms me. I KNOW I saw him today, but for some reason, all this stupidity, all this worrying, it's clouding up my judgement!"

"Maybe you're thinking you do like Gaara, but you don't know now because you're too embarrassed to admit it!"

Naruto blinked, and thought about it. Maybe that was it.

"…Fine."

* * *

Neji walked out in front of the line, and shouted at the top of his lungs, "We've chosen someone! Go home!"

Ino and Sasuke looked up, gasping.

"W-Who?" Ino stuttered.

"The winner is…Sabaku no Gaara!" Neji yelled.

All the boys groaned, and began the trek home. Sasuke stood stunned, eyes wide.

"Sa-Sasuke-kun?" Ino asked timidly.

Sasuke collapsed onto his knees as he saw Gaara and Naruto walk out, Gaara's arm lovingly around Naruto's shoulders.

He lost.

And for the first time since Itachi had left him, he cried.

Kenji nodded at Ino, and she bent down and hugged Sasuke close, rubbing his back as he cried silently into her chest.

"It's okay Sasuke-kun. Let it out…"

Sasuke really never loved any girl as much as he loved Ino right that moment.

* * *

Inu: Don't kill me! It all works into the plot!

* * *

i Naruto meets Sumaru of the Hidden Star in episode 178. Sumaru intends to become Hoshikage, the ultimate ninja in his village. 


	8. Duel me!

Inu: Heeeey, since I got no death threats about the Gaara/Naruto thing, I guess its okay to come out of hiding!

* * *

The next day had come, and everyone who was invited to the party was there, having a good time and congratulating not only Sakura, but Naruto and Gaara as well.

"Ino!" Sakura whispered.

"Yeah?" she asked, walking over.

"Why is Naruto with….Gaara?"

"I don't know Sakura," Ino frowned.

"And, where's Sasuke-kun?"

"He wants to be alone right now…" she mumbled.

Sakura blinked, then nodded, understanding. "Poor Sasuke-kun…"

"Yeah, poor Sasuke."

* * *

Gaara and Naruto sat down on the couch, Gaara's arm around Naruto. Naruto was a bit peeved. Since yesterday, he hadn't been allowed to talk to anybody but Gaara because he was that damn over-protective! And he missed talking to his best friend….

Naruto's eyes widened.

Sasuke! He hadn't seen him since yesterday! Where was he anyway?

Gaara was talking to his sister on his other side, so Naruto took this chance to talk to Kiba.

"Hey! Kiba! Over here!"

Kiba looked over and regarded him with a nod.

"Find Sasuke for me! Please!"

Kiba smirked and nodded, beginning his search for the Uchiha, Akamaru sniffing close behind. Naruto smiled as he left, relieved.

"Why would you want to see him?" Gaara asked, jealous.

Naruto jumped, then turned to him, "Because he's my best friend, and I haven't talked to him in ages already!"

"Naruto, you have me. You don't need anyone else."

Naruto was about to need a therapist if Kiba didn't find Sasuke.

* * *

Kiba frowned, looking all over the mansion for the dark-haired loner, but nothing. Not even Akamaru could pick up his scent!

"You'd think the guy would be in his own house!" he growled.

"Kiba? What are you looking for?" Neji asked, walking over with two drinks.

Kiba took the offered drink happily, "I'm looking for Uchiha. Naruto wants to see him," he smirked, "Looks like he finally realized who he wants."

"How can you tell?" Neji asked, interested.

"When a person mentions the name of someone they love, their scent shifts. I can pick that up. And Naru-chan is missin' Sasuke, not Gaara," Kiba said.

Neji blinked, then looked down. He had forced Naruto to pick Gaara, when Naruto had been stalling…

"Oh my god."

"What?"

"Naruto was trying to hold out for Sasuke unconsciously. And I forced him to pick Gaara. And Uchiha, well he's one helluva mental case…we have to get them together," Neji finalized.

Kiba grinned, "Well, with three of us, we'll find Uchiha for sure."

"Make that 5 of us," Sakura smiled, Ino right behind her.

"6!" Hinata blushed.

"7!" Lee grinned.

"8!" Kakashi poofed up.

"9!"

"10!"

"11!"

Eventually, everyone in the party except Gaara and Naruto had agreed that they had one mission, and one mission alone to accomplish:

Get Naruto with Sasuke!

* * *

Meanwhile, Naruto and Gaara were alone in the living room.

"What is everyone doing in the kitchen? Leave it to Sasuke to have a kitchen big enough to fit his fan club and 3,000 other people."

"Why do you talk about Sasuke so much?" Gaara asked.

"I don't!" Naruto denied, and pouted.

Gaara sighed, "Naruto, now that you're mine, I'm not letting you go. I hope you know that."

"…What?"

"I won't allow you to break up with me."

"What!"

"To break up with me, you'll have to beat me again."

Dr. Phil! DR. PHIL!

* * *

"Alright then, it's agreed. Gold team; which is Iruka, Kiba, Neji, and Ino, will go and look for Sasuke. Blue team; Temari, Kankuro, Shikamaru, Kenji, Gai, Asuka, and Sakura will help Gold team. Everyone else will stay here and distract Gaara. I can make some _Kage Buunshin_ and have them use genjutsu to look like the teams that are missing. They'll never know!" everyone's favorite perverted jounin said.

"Yes, Kakashi, good idea! That is why you are my rival!" Gai said, in a dramatic pose.

"Hurry! I can't hold this barrier up for long…" Hinata said, holding up a ninjutsu barrier to keep Gaara and Naruto from hearing them.

"We're done here, Hinata-chan," Neji said.

Everyone blinked, but decided not to comment on it. Kakashi, though, grinned under his mask. Just as Hinata let down the barrier, and the others left, Kakashi made his copies, and had them turn into the other ninja, and they all smiled, walking into the party.

"Hey Gaara!" Temari-clone said.

Gaara nodded at her, completely unsuspecting, as the others settled themselves, and acted like the counterparts they were supposed to act like.

Kiba-clone began a drinking game, and TenTen-clone hit him over the head lightly. Lee-clone accepted, and everyone, clone or not, held him back, crying for him not to do so.

But, I digress.

Kakashi looked at Naruto, who looked like he wanted to kill himself or kill Gaara, and sneaked outside.

Oh, let the party begin.

"Let's dance, Naruto," Sasuke-Kakashi said, walking in through the front door. Hinata blinked, and gasped.

_That wasn't part of the plan, Kakashi-sensei!_

Naruto practically jumped up in joy, ripped himself from Gaara, and took Sasuke-Kakashi's offered hand.

Gaara steamed in jealousy, and Hinata used her Byakugan secretly.

_Oh geezus. Kakashi's pretending to be Sasuke…_

Kakashi smirked the way Sasuke would, and turned on the radio. Out of the speakers, Konoha's favorite pop artist began to play his hit single, "Sexyback." Everyone whooted, cheered the boys on, and Sasuke-Kakashi drew Naruto close, and began to dance with the blushing boy.

Sasuke owed him BIG TIME.

* * *

Even with Akamaru on their team, Gold team was having trouble finding the dark-haired prodigy. Kiba growled angrily, tired of him hiding.

"He better not have run back to Orochimaru or something…" he mumbled.

"Don't even joke about something like that!" Ino scolded, close behind. Suddenly, she stopped, spotting a black spike in the river, "I found him!" and she ran over.

Lo and behold, there was Sasuke, trying to drown himself, thus washing away his scent.

"Sasuke," Ino said, carefully approaching him.

"Leave me alone. I want to die," he said moodily, sitting up in the river.

"Sasuke, Naruto hates being with Gaara."

"It didn't look like it yesterday."

Ino growled, and Blue team arrived, standing back, watching.

"Because he didn't have a choice," Neji admitted.

"What?" Ino and Sasuke asked in unison.

"I forced him to pick Gaara. I didn't think there'd be anyone on the line besides Gaara he'd like."

Sasuke's eye twitched, and he rose menacingly. He didn't need the cursed seal for his chakra to feel scary. Even though he was shaking, and he was soaked from head to toe, Sasuke's eyes alone were enough to scare even the Yondaime away.

But Ino stood up to those eyes, and slapped him firmly across the face. Everyone gasped, and Sasuke turned his face back to Ino, eyes wide.

"W-What…?"

"Use those eyes against Gaara, not us, and get what you want. You want Naruto, fight for him. You were willing to do that yesterday, when he was single. You have to be willing to do so now, or you have no right to say you love him."

Sasuke stood, stunned. Ino was right.

"Sasuke-kun, it's not too late. You can get him back," Sakura smiled, walking over beside Ino.

Sasuke looked into their eyes, determination in them like a fire, and he smirked, striking his famous cocky pose.

"Of course I can get him back. He belongs to me, after all."

Everyone cheered. Sasuke was back!

* * *

Sasuke-Kakashi was having one hell of a time dancing with Naruto. Despite what he thought, the kid could dance! Naruto matched his waist movements perfectly.

And who didn't love seeing Gaara seethe like that from the couch?

"That's enough!" Gaara demanded, standing from the couch.

"Gaara, I'm just dancing with my friend!" Naruto called back, blushing deeply.

"When a boy dances with a friend, that friend is supposed to be a girl! But when a boy dances like _that_ with a boy, he's dancing with his boyfriend!"

"Like _that_," meant grinding shamelessly.

Naruto blushed more, but continued to be indignant, "He's my best friend! I share everything with him!"

"Well, you're my boyfriend, and now you share everything with me!"

Gold team and Blue team arrived, quickly taking the places of the clones. Sasuke walked in casually, and Naruto's jaw dropped.

"Sasuke?" he asked, looking at Sasuke. Then he looked at Sasuke-Kakashi, who poofed into his real self, chuckling.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto squeaked.

"Kakashi, what the hell were you doing?" Sasuke asked.

"Giving you a good name and some awesome moves," he smiled, then looked at Gaara, "Face it, you got served."

Everyone shook their heads at the ridiculous reference, and Iruka slapped him upside the head.

"You ruin everything," he said.

"Awwww, 'Ruka, you're so mean."

Sasuke gave him a flat glare, then turned back to Gaara, "You have something of mine."

Gaara glared at him, "Oh really?"

"Naruto is mine!"

Naruto blinked, "What?"

Sasuke turned to him, and smiled softly. He was going to come out and say it. He was going to say how he felt. Naruto looked taken aback, he looked confused, but Sasuke was going to clear everything up.

"Sasuke?"

"Naruto. I love you!"

Naruto gasped, Gaara growled, and everyone around practically threw their popcorn in the air in glee.

"Gaara! I challenge you! A fight for Naruto's heart!" Sasuke demanded.

"I accept!" Gaara snarled.

"One catch. We won't fight with fists, or weapons, or _sand_," he said, and Gaara raised an eyebrow, "We're going to duel."

"With guns?"

"No, you ninny. With these!" Sasuke said, taking out Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards.

Everyone's eyes twitched, unbelieving. Ino understood though. Trying to drown himself drained him of all his energy. He needed to do something else but…this?

Gaara blinked. "A card game?"

Sasuke smirked, "What, your brain too slow to make up a strategy for this?"

"No!" Gaara said, regaining face.

"Then, let's duel!"

"Let the duel begin!"

"DR. PHIL!" Naruto cried.

* * *

Inu: Hope you liked it! 


	9. Loopholes suck

Inu: Let the duel begin! Oh yeah, so no one sues, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Naruto, or any of the characters. Just the crappy plot.

Also PLEASE READ THIS:

I am tired. I really can't beta my stuff, so if anyone wants to take up the job..

* * *

The stage was set for the biggest duel in Konoha history: 

Uchiha Sasuke vs. Sabaku no Gaara for Uzumaki Naruto's love!

It was bound to be one helluva duel, and just about everyone in Konoha was seated down in the Chuunin exam arena, waiting for said duel to begin.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was pacing. He was thinking of his plan of action. He had a deck, and he was confident that he could win if he tried hard enough. He had the advantage after all. Naruto had forced him to learn how to play.

A lot.

* * *

FLASHBACK

* * *

"I play the Dark Magician!" Naruto cried excitedly. 

Sasuke said something unintelligible.

"Haha! You're mad that I'm winning!"

"No, I'm mad that you're forcing me to play this stupid game, you have the same stupid 'Your Move' song playing over and over, and I haven't slept in days because we've been at a standstill since we started," Sasuke growled.

"Yeah, you'd think we'd run out of cards."

"We did. You turned them over and started the game again!"

"Whoops, sorry," Naruto grinned, giving Sasuke a foxy grin.

* * *

FLASHBACK END

* * *

Sasuke smiled warmly at the memory, despite the lack of sleep he had suffered, which had cost them a mission the very next day. Sasuke sighed, and looked at the sky. 

Why had it taken him so long to see how he felt?

"Why did it take so long for me to tell him?" Sasuke asked himself.

"I can tell you why, Sasuke-kun!" Lee bounded out of thin air.

"Oh really?" Sasuke asked, a flat expression on his face.

Suddenly, Lee pulled out a list, and read it out loud to him.

"1) You are anti-social.

2) Everyone pressured you to be straight and have kids.

3) ….You are REALLY anti-social."

Sasuke scowled, "Thank you Lee."

"4) Naruto could have any other person, now that everyone practically loves him."

"Thank you Lee…" Sasuke gritted through his teeth.

"5) You—"

"LEE!! That's enough!" Sasuke shouted.

Lee blinked, nodded and rolled up the list, causing Sasuke to raise a brow at long it was.

"What is your plan of action, Sasuke-kun?" Lee asked.

"Why do you want to know?" Sasuke glared at him.

"Duh! The flames of youth can not shine more brightly than when you and Naruto-kun are together! And to do that, you must win at all costs…if you get my drift."

Sasuke's eyes widened in amazement, "You're going to…?"

"That's right! If we must, we will rig the game...Or Kakashi will have our unmentionables."

"Figures."

"Not that it matters to me, I wear none,"

"Oh god. Too much information!"

"But the idea that he would steal Sakura-chan's! _I_ am the only one who has claim to them!!"

"Oh Jesus Christ!!"

"And as such, I will not allow that he—"

"LEE!!! SHUT UP!!"

* * *

Sasuke was using a jutsu to forget everything Lee had just told him when Sakura walked in with Ino. 

"Hey Sasuke-kun!" Sakura and Ino chirped.

"Hey Sakura, Ino," he said, abandoning his jutsu for the moment.

"We just wanted to wish you luck, Sasuke-kun," Ino smiled.

"And, I wanted to apologize…if it hadn't been for me with my whole 'birthday' idea, you two would be together at your own pace," Sakura said apologetically.

Sasuke sighed, and smirked at her, "You really are annoying,"

Sakura sighed, looked up, and opened her mouth to say something.

"But you are my friend. You wanted to help me, and you did. You gave me this chance to reveal my feelings. You've got nothing to be sorry for except the fact that you date a underwear-less freak in green."

Sakura blinked, laughed and hugged him, nodding, "Right Sasuke-kun."

"By the way, Sasuke," she continued.

"Yeah?"

"You better win! Or you're on my hit list with Naruto and Neji!"

"…Thank you for the support."

* * *

Sasuke successfully avoided all his "comrades," and walked out onto the stage where they had duel disks placed on a table. 

Sasuke didn't know how they made the duel disks, but he didn't care.

He chose the sleek black one, and went to his post, and soon after, Gaara followed his example, and thus, the two ninja were ready to duel.

Naruto, Neji, Sakura, Ino, Lee and Hinata were seated right at the front, watching carefully.

"Who are you cheering for, Naruto?" Neji asked.

"I-I don't know," he said uncertainly.

* * *

Both duelists rearranged their decks, made sure their life points were at 8000, and stood a few yards from each other, and the signal was given to start. The duel began with Gaara, who drew a card, and smirked. 

"I'll put a card in face down defense, and put one card face down. Your move, Uchiha."

Sasuke glared, drew, then looked at his hand.

'_Lightening vortex, Bubonic Vermin, Fenrir, Cure Mermaid, Swords of revealing light, and I just drew another Fenrir. Hmm...'_

Sasuke smirked in return, taking a card out of his hand.

"I play, Swords of Revealing Light!"

Heavenly swords appeared in between the two ninja/duelists, and revealed Gaara's Sparkman in defense mode.

"Then, I activate Lightening Vortex!" Sasuke shouted, slipping a card into the graveyard as sacrifice, then smirked as Sparkman was hit by a huge bolt of lightening.

"Finally, I summon Cure Mermaid! And I attack your life points directly with her!"

Gaara smirked, "I reveal my trap card! Mirror Force!"

A mirror appeared in front of Gaara, reflecting the attack and sending it back at the mermaid, destroying her. Sasuke scowled, then nodded at Gaara, signaling his turn was over.

Gaara smirked, "You're going to lose!"

* * *

"Cheer for Sasuke already, Naruto!" Neji practically shouted into his ear over the roaring crowds. 

"I couldn't do that to him…"

"Gaara will get over it."

"No, Sasuke. He wants children. He wants revenge against Itachi still. He wants a life that I can't give him. I can't have children. I won't let him go kill himself trying to get back at Itachi. I won't make him happy…"

The others looked at their broken friend.

"Well then, maybe this duel will show you otherwise, Naruto," Shino said, sitting on his other side.

Naruto blinked, "What? Shino?"

"Hell yeah! Sasuke's gonna kick ass your ya!" Kiba howled, jumping into the seat behind Shino and Naruto.

Naruto looked on in disbelief as all of the people at the party jumped into seats close to him, and told him how Sasuke had to win. Even Gaara's sister, Temari, was seated beside Shikamaru, cheering for Sasuke. So why couldn't he cheer for Sasuke?

He turned his attention back to the duel, and something in Naruto's mind clicked, and he stood, his voice reigning over all the cheers.

"Dammit Sasuke! Beat this loser into the ground!"

Gaara and Sasuke both looked at Naruto unbelieving, and Naruto bristled, but continued.

"Sasuke!! Don't give me that look, teme! Win, I know you can do it! I believe in you Sasuke!"

Sasuke blinked, then smirked, "Idiot! That, I already knew!"

Sasuke drew and Umiruka card, then continued the duel. At the moment, Gaara had one card face down defense, and one card face down, while Sasuke had his Giant Red Sea Snake, Levia-Dragon-Daedalus, and Fenrir on the field in attack. Before, Sasuke had managed to have Fenrir attack, bringing Gaara's life points down to 6600, but Sasuke's own life points were only at 200, due to Gaara's various traps.

"I'll win this for you, Naruto!" Sasuke yelled.

Naruto smiled, then shouted back, "You better, or you're on Sakura-chan's hit list!"

Sasuke laughed, then turned his attention to the stunned sand-nin, "I'll attack with my Levia-Dragon! Go! Kill whatever he's got faced down!"

"I use A hero Emerges!" Gaara responded, regaining face, "Pick a card from my hand, and if it's a monster, it's summoned."

"The one on the left!"

Gaara scowled as he was forced to summon Kaiser Glider, who was weaker than Levia-Dragon, and Sasuke smirked.

"Levia-Dragon, let's pick up where we left off! Destroy Kaiser Glider!"

The huge sea dragon sent a powerful blast of water towards Kaiser, destroying him completely, and causing Gaara to lose 200 life points. Afterwards, Kaiser Glider's effect randomly sent Sasuke's sea snake back to his hand.

"Fenrir! Destroy his face down monster!"

The snow white cougar leapt into action, and destroyed the Avian that was in defense mode.

"That's it for me, Gaara," Sasuke smirked, "By the way, since Fenrir sent one of your monsters to the graveyard, you can't draw this turn."

Gaara growled. He was down to 6400 life points, he couldn't draw, and he had no monsters. He had essentially lost.

'_Perhaps then, it wasn't meant to be…'_ he thought, then nodded in defeat.

Sasuke smirked haughtily, drew his card, then activated Umiruka, giving all his monsters a 500 attack point boost.

"I'll summon my Red Sea Snake again, and end this duel!" he shouted, "Giant Red Sea Snake, attack!"

Gaara winced at the force of the attack, his life points going down to 4100.

"Now, Levia-Dragon, attack!" Sasuke yelled, the crowd cheering wildly.

Gaara screamed as the impact hit him hard, bringing his life points down to 1000.

"Finally, Fenrir, finish this duel! Fenrir attack!" the Uchiha commanded, Naruto jumping up and down in anticipation.

Gaara fell back from the impact, and scowled as this life points hit 0.

"And the winner is: Uchiha Sasuke!" the announcer yelled, and the stadium broke out into cheers as Naruto ran into Sasuke's open arms.

"You did it, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Yeah, I did," Sasuke whispered softly, and leaned in. Just as their lips were about to meet, a wave of sand separated them violently, and the two boys looked at Gaara.

"Gaara! I won! Naruto is mine!"

"I said Naruto would be mine…until _he_ defeated me. I acknowledge that his heart is yours, you can have that, but Naruto's body is mine."

Sasuke growled, and Naruto sighed.

"Damn loopholes."

* * *

Inu: TBC! 


	10. Help me!

Inu: Why, hello oh faithful readers of mine. ;;

Okay, here's the deal:

I'm stumped. I don't know what to do to have the matter of who Naruto belongs to settled.

Also, I'm writing a novel, which is sucking away all my creativity for this story. I have about, 1/6 of the next chapter written, but that's it.

Any suggestions?

Also!!!!!

I was checking my story stats, and I was so surprised to see this story was a favorite ELEVEN (no, not 10, 11!) people!! I'm so thankful!! Thank you soooooo much dudes! I will remember this when I write another story!!

Love ya!


	11. Tai Incident

Inu: Finally, an update. I got some good ideas, but I was expecting more of an out-of-the-ordinary kind of idea to use, so sorry if it sucks. But hey, it was pretty good run, wasn't it?

Disclaimer: Oh please, as if you don't know.

Warnings: Shounen Ai, and also, spoilers.

* * *

Naruto sighed.

"Damn loopholes."

"Gaara, get over it! Naruto is mine!" Sasuke growled.

Gaara glared back coldly, his sand enwrapping Naruto and carrying him over.

"Gah! Sasuke!!" Naruto shouted, like the perfect maiden in distress.

"Naruto!" Sasuke glared, the cursed seal awakening, and charged toward Gaara.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!!" Gai-sensei suddenly shouted, landing between Gaara and Sasuke, dispelling Gaara's sand while Kakashi stood back-to-back with him, catching Sasuke's chidori-strained wrist.

"Let me destroy him!" Sasuke shouted angrily, as his hair grew longer and turned grey, level two of the cursed seal kicking in all over his body.

"Let me kill him!" Gaara hissed venomously, the sand around him trying to whip at Sasuke, itching to taste blood.

Both of the jounin sighed, and knocked out the boys. Naruto sighed in relief as the sand released him, and smiled as Tsunade caught him.

"Thanks, Tsunade-baa-chan!"

He wasn't so grateful when she threw him back 500 feet in the air, and let him fall on his head.

"Will you stop calling me that now, brat?" she asked.

"Forget you, Tsunade-baa-chan," Naruto mumbled into the dirt.

Sakura sighed, then ushered the other Konoha citizens out of the arena, leaving only the original rookie 12, their old sensei's, the three sand nin, and two of the three sannin.

"Well, now what?" Sakura asked.

"I don't know…I mean, it's literally been _years_ since Sasuke unleashed the cursed seal like that out of pure anger…" Naruto replied.

"And for it to encompass his _whole_ body…" Sakura whispered worriedly.i

They all frowned, looking at the two unconscious powerhouses. Naruto sighed, looking lovingly at Sasuke.

"Then maybe it's time I fight my own battle for once, instead of having Sasuke do it for me."

They all looked at him, worried, but Sakura nodded and understood. The cherry blossom walked to him and hugged him tightly.

"Good luck Naruto…be careful."

Naruto smiled and hugged her, nodding.

"Always."

Gai watched this unfold and smiled softly, nodding at them. He looked at Kakashi, as well as Kurenai, Asuma, and Iruka, who all looked at him as well and nodded.

The little leaves of Konoha were about to find out what the flames of youth really were.

* * *

Gaara awoke, groaning, but looked up and smiled.

There stood Naruto, smiling, though albeit sadly.

"Gaara, we need to talk," he said.

"You want to break up with me," Gaara stated.

"Yeah. But I don't want to fight you."

"I don't want to lose you."

"Gaara, you're just confused…you don't want me. You think you do, because I changed you."

"How do you know that's not how Uchiha feels?"

"Because when two people love each other, you can tell. It's not empty."

"What I feel isn't empty."

Naruto sighed, "Then you leave me no choice…"

* * *

Sasuke opened his eyes, and groaned. They felt heavy, and everything was dark. In a few moments, his vision cleared, and before him stood Ino.

"Ino?" he asked.

"Naruto and Gaara are…competing."

"You mean they're fighting?!" Sasuke asked, sitting up.

"I wish, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke blinked.

* * *

Sasuke blinked again. Then, his eye twitched. _Then_, his hands began clenching and unclenching. Finally, a low growl emitted from his throat.

Ino concluded that Sasuke was slightly disturbed.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Okay, fine, he was mad. Granted, he had a good reason. Naruto decided there was no way he could possibly fight someone who cared so much for him. So, because he wanted something where he hoped Gaara couldn't complain about, he decided the only appropriate way to settle this was a team battle in the form of a game. The point of the game was not to beat their opponent, but instead to be the flashiest about their moves.

Each person was allowed three other people to play with them. This was considered a team. Each battle consisted of one member from each team fighting against each other, trying to get higher points for their team. Whoever got the most points at the end of the battle, won. Obviously, if Gaara won, Naruto was his and he could not break up with him, and Sasuke would be his personal slave for a week. But if Naruto won, Naruto was allowed to love who he wanted, he was allowed to break up with Gaara, and most importantly, Gaara would pay for all the therapy sessions Naruto would have to take after this for all the mental trauma.

Hey, suppressing disturbing memories isn't cheap.

The fun part about the game was that, while attacking, they had to avoid getting scratches and burns on themselves, in order to look presentable for their grade. And that's what pissed Sasuke off the most. He knew Naruto was a magnet for burns, scrapes, cuts, and wounds of all kinds.

Gaara stood at one end of the arena, while Naruto stood opposite to him. He glanced around at everyone, his eyes assessing his choices.

"Temari, Lee and Kankuro. Come," he said, choosing.

The three walked over, Temari sneaking a kind "good luck" wink to Naruto.

Naruto gave a slight nod in response, then turned toward the remaining nin, smiling brightly at Sasuke.

"I pick Sasuke, Kakashi and …Hinata-chan!"

Suddenly a pin fell, and everyone heard it.

"Hi-Hinata?!" Kurenai asked, "B-But Hinata is too shy!"

"Pfft. She can barely talk," Asumaii retorted, earning a glare from the female Hyuuga's sensei.

Regardless of all the doubts flying around, Naruto grinned, holding out his hand to Hinata, who smiled and took it, standing confidently beside him.

Sasuke stood at his other side, giving him a cocky smirk, and Kankuro, Lee and Temari soon followed suit, each standing on either side of Gaara. Gaara and Naruto stared into each others eyes, determination in each. Kakashi walked over, a wide grin under his mask, and he stood at Sasuke's other side. He removed his forehead protector from his eye, and chuckled.

"Let the games begin."

Sasuke's sharingan activated, the commas soon becoming the ever-infamous pinwheels, and Hinata's face strained as she activated her byakugan. Gaara smirked, a cloud of sand raising him high above the others. Kankurou summoned Kuroari, Sanshouo, and Karasu, and Temari placed her fan beside her, smirking, while Lee stood in his well-known pose, ready to open the gates of Kaimon. Naruto's eyes closed, then reopened, his eyes slitted and red. Soon, red charka covered his entire body, 2 tails emerging from behind him, and he grinned, showing off his newly grown fangs.

"Let's go," he said, smirking.

Tsunade stood far away from them, opting to be the referee.

"Alright then!" she shouted, and held up two very strangely made dice.

"These dice are four-sided! Now then, this one," she held up the red one, "is Naruto's team. This one," she held up the blue one, "is Gaara's team. I will roll these dice, and they will decide who fights who! The judges are the Konoha council, and the villagers of Konoha and of Suna!" and she raised her hand majestically, pointing their attention to the seats above, which were full of people again.

The crowd cheered, shouting the name of their favorite person.

"What the…who's watching Suna then?!" Chouji asked.

"The ninja of Suna are still there, stupid," Ino replied, "It's only the villagers who came."

Tsunade shook her head, then threw the dice up, "And the first two are…!" she cried dramatically.

The dice went high up into the air, then soon fell on the ground and rolled until they stopped, revealing the first two names.

"Uchiha Sasuke and Temari!"

Temari smirked, stepping forward, and observed as Sasuke stepped forward too, obviously making sure that no matter what, no one could see his eyes.

"BEGIN!" Tsunade shouted.

Temari laughed, "Hah! Uchiha Sasuke, can't you even look me in the eyes?"

Everyone looked on with interest, wondering what Sasuke would do. For the hell of it, Jiraiya, Neji, Ebisu, and Iruka decided to be announcers for the event.

"Well, I wonder what Uchiha will do?" Jiraiya asked into the microphone.

"Yes, unfortunately for Uchiha-san, he is at a great disadvantage, as he is a close-range fighter, while Temari-san's fan allows her to be a long-range fighter," Ebisu said.

Everyone quieted though, as they heard a small chuckle in the arena.

"Uhm…why is Sasuke-kun laughing?" Iruka asked.

"You mean, besides the fact that he's completely off his rocker?" Neji retorted.

Sasuke continued to chuckle, and soon, the chuckle became a maniac laugh, and he looked up at Temari, straight into her eyes.

"I…have no reason to worry," he said, and soon, the pinwheels in his eyes rotated.

Temari gasped, realizing her mistake much too late.

"The mangekyou!" she said, but was already lost in his illusion. Soon, she blinked, looking around, confused and scared.

"Wh-Where am I?!" she screamed, and reached for her fan.

Sasuke calmly walked over, picked up the heavy fan with ease, and threw it to the other side of the arena. The audience went wild, and the judges quietly spoke amongst themselves, but everyone could tell they were impressed.

Temari's screams increased, and Gaara winced, wishing he could help her right then. It was also hard to hold back Kankuro, who sorely wished he could jump in too.

"Alright then," Sasuke said, walking away from Temari, "Let the real show begin."

He reached the point where her fan was, then turned and released Temari from the illusion. Temari blinked, looking around, and glared at Sasuke.

'He's too good…' she thought, then blinked.

"My fan!!!" she cried, realizing that it was in Sasuke's possession.

"Sorry Temari," Sasuke shouted back, and picked up the large fan, "But I need to win this." He swung the fan, and grinned, "_Kamaitachi no jutsu!_"

Temari's eyes widened as the jutsu actually worked, wind rushing at her, but before it actually hit her…

"_Gougakyuu no jutsu!_" he shouted, the large fireball mixing with the wind, to send a devastating attack.

"Kyaa!!" Temari screamed, hit with both elemental superpowers, and was thrusted into the wall behind her. She slid down, wincing at the cuts and burns all over her. Despite that, she struggled to get up, and managed to do so.

"That Uchiha…" she whispered to herself, "How did he use _kamaitachi no jutsu_?"

Sasuke smirked, "Give up, Temari?"

Temari glared heatedly, and stood up straight, "No!"

Sasuke shook his head, sighing.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore Temari."

She blinked, wondering why the Uchiha suddenly cared so much about her. After all, it wasn't like they were on the best of terms after…_that._

* * *

FLASHBACK

* * *

Temari sighed. And sighed. And sighed.

"God, will you stop sighing, already?" an annoyed Sasuke demanded.

The two had been put together in a mission. It wasn't a real mission, per say, it was just a sort of, "get along with our allies, and we mean all of them, or we'll demote you."

Temari was bored. She was beyond bored, and she couldn't help the sighing.

"What's the mission again?"

"We have to find…" Sasuke looked at the list, "a whole bunch of different flowers for Ino's shop."

"Are you serious? That's so gay…"

"I agree."

Suddenly, Temari grinned, grabbed Sasuke's wrist, and pulled him into a shop.

"I'm hungry, and you're paying! Right?" she asked, winking at him.

Sasuke sighed, and nodded. He may be a bastard, but he had gentlemanly manners. They both sat down, and soon, a waiter approached them. The waiter was very good looking with sleek black hair and beautiful cerulean eyes, but it was nothing that impressed Temari (nor Sasuke, but no one really knows he's gay).

"Hello, my name is Tai. How may I serve you?" he practically purred, smiling at them, especially Temari.

"Hmmmm," Temari hummed, looking at the menu, "I guess I'll have some…well, I don't know, what do you suggest, Sasuke?"

Sasuke looked at the menu, sighing, "I don't know. I'm so used to Ichiraku's by now, all I want is ramen."

"Well, that actually sounds pretty good right now. It is kinda cold, don't you think?"

"Yes, I suppose…alright then, miso for me, please," he said, the waiter obediently writing down his order.

"I'll have the same…wait, what size are you having Sasuke?"

"Sigh. Large, why?"

"Are you gonna finish it all?"

"Probably not."

"Can we just share one then? I know I won't be able to finish even a small one."

"Sigh, why not?"

Temari smiled and looked at the waiter, "1 large miso ramen for the both of us!"

The waiter nodded, and walked away, sneaking a wink to Temari. As soon as he left, Sasuke looked at Temari skeptically.

"What the hell was that about? I know you can eat more than me."

"That guy is obviously trying to hit on me, Sasuke, so I'm trying to hint that you and I are together!"

"By making me share my ramen with you?"

"Oh geez, you sound as possessive as Naruto."

Sasuke blushed, indignant, and pouted, "Whatever."

The waiter, Tai, returned quickly with their order and two pairs of chopsticks, placing them on the table neatly.

"Thank you," Sasuke mumbled, pulling the bowl closer to himself, and watched Temari move her chair beside him, picking up her chopsticks.

"Itadakimasu!" she said, smiling, and looked at Sasuke expectantly.

He blinked, sighed, then picked up his own chopsticks and tried for a smile, "Itadakimasu…"

Tai blinked, then shook his head, "If I may…not to be rude…but why him? He's so…emotionless. He doesn't seem like your type at all, miss. ME, on the other hand…"

Temari elbowed Sasuke's ribs under the table, signaling him to stand up for her like a good "boyfriend" would, and Sasuke sighed.

* * *

"Sasuke, we are demoting you to a chuunin," Tsunade told him, sighing.

"WHAT?" he yelled, jumping out of his chair.

After Temari's signal to defend her, Sasuke had promptly used chidori on the waiter, and looked at every other male there and dared them to try and hit on "his girl" again. While Temari was delighted that Sasuke was such a good actor, Tsunade wasn't, because his chidori managed to destroy the establishment, and thus, Konoha had to pay their expenses…and Tai's medical bill.

"You are being demoted from an ANBU to a chuunin."

"I was just playing the part!! Temari told me to!!"

"She didn't tell you to put that waiter in critical condition in the hospital and make Konoha pay all their bills!"

"Tsunade-sama," Neji intervened, who had been standing there for a while, listening to the exchange, "I do think it is unfair. Sasuke did what he thought was best to defend the honor of his teammate on a mission, which is what you all wanted when you started these 'friendship missions.' I think it's only fair that Sasuke not be penalized so badly. Maybe a month of D missions, but being demoted from an ANBU to a chuunin…that's too much."

"You think so, Neji?" she asked.

"Yes."

"You are willing to defend that notion, Neji?"

"Yes."

"Then you can be a chuunin with Sasuke."

"Okay, thank y—wait, what?!"

* * *

FLASHBACK END

* * *

She had managed to demote two very good ninja thanks to her plan, and Sasuke had murder written in his eyes for an entire week when he looked at her.

So why did he care now?

As if able to read her thoughts, Sasuke smiled, and shouted to her, "Becoming a chuunin…allowed me to work with Naruto more…and soon, I fell more in love with him…in a way, I have you to thank for being able to see my feelings."

Temari blinked, then smiled back at him.

"So you forgive me to the Tai thing?"

Sasuke smiled sweetly at her, "No fucking way."

Well, a girl could hope.

Soon, the two looked at each other with the intent to kill again, and Sasuke smirked, putting the fan down.

"I don't want to break your bones…" he said, immediately appearing behind Temari, and grabbed a wound of hers, smearing his hands in her blood and making her wince, "So I'll break your will!"

He immediately disappeared away from her again, and next to the fan. Temari looked at him, confused, before it dawned on her.

"I-Impossible!! Just because you have my blood doesn't mean...!"

Sasuke picked up the fan again, and smeared it with her blood, then waved it, smirking, "_Kuchiyose: Kirikiri mai_!"

Temari gasped as the weasel with the sickle appeared, his slicing winds approaching her and lifting her into the air, cutting her body all over. Instead of screaming, Temari fell silently, amazed that her favorite attack was used against her.

"H-How?" she asked, then promptly, blacked out.

Tsunade chose right then to interfere, not that Sasuke was willing to do much more, "Te-Temari can no longer battle! Sasuke wins this battle by KO! Announcers, what do you think?" she asked them, slightly stunned.

"We-well…that was amazing. I have no idea how Sasuke was able to use Temari's own jutsu's against her…but holy crap Uchiha!" Neji stated, blinking.

"I must agree with Neji-kun," Iruka said, "For Sasuke-kun to get out of his element and still win…that's…wow."

"The fuck did Orochimaru teach you, brat?" Jiraiya asked.

Sasuke smirked, putting the fan down and walking over to Temari, picking her up gently, and carrying her to the beds inside the resting rooms of the arena.

"I'll never tell."

The judges talked amongst themselves a little longer, then finally nodded and one of them stood.

"Uchiha Sasuke has earned his team a perfect ten!" he said, the crowd going wild, "Unfortunately, Temari has not earned her team any points."

Gaara scowled, knowing it wasn't Temari's fault, but couldn't help but be mad. He was already behind.

Meanwhile, Sasuke laid Temari down in a bed, and Sakura immediately rushed in, healing Temari's wounds.

"Huh…" she said.

"What is it, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked, joining them in the room, giving Sasuke a kiss on the cheek now that Gaara wasn't watching.

"Her wounds…they're minimal at best. She's not even in critical condition. I mean, the only reason she fainted must be because Sasuke-kun used her own blood to do a summoning. Sasuke-kun…did you go easy on Temari?"

Sasuke smirked.

"Of course. She's one of the few females I actually like."

"Sasuke, you softy, you," Naruto said, grinning.

Sasuke spared him a glance, smirking, "We'll see how soft I am in bed."

Naruto immediately blushed, shutting up, and Sakura laughed.

Naruto imagined that he wouldn't be so soft with him as he was with Temari.

* * *

i It's a bit of a spoiler here. Later on in the series, after "Shippuuden," Sasuke can control which parts of his body the level two cursed seal can cover.

ii Technically, Asuma is supposed to be dead by now, but I wanted him to be alive.

Inu: Well, there you go, an update. Not my best chapter, but like I said before, I have absolutely no creative juices flowing.


	12. F is for fucked up

Inu: Hey! No, this isn't a chapter, but for those of you who are wondering, here's what the invites said!

* * *

F is for friends who do stuff together, 

U is for Uzumaaaaki!

N is for anywhere at anytime at all—

Here where Uchiha is liiiiiving!

F is for flowers for the party,

U is for you better come!

N is for nosying, presents, and partying—

Here with the rookie nine—er—y!!

So, I'm hoping you can come to Sakura-chan's birthday!! It's tomorrow, so hurry and RSVP!

Uzumaki Naruto

P.S.—This is Sasuke. I know, her birthday is in 7 months, but he just won't listen, so come anyway. It's at my house at 3 pm. Also, his song sucks. I know.

Shut up Sasuke-teme, my song doesn't suck!!

Yes it does! Have you READ it?

Yes, and it's the best song ever written by anyone in the whole world!

It really does kinda suck, Naruto.

Not you too, Neji!!! Hinata, right is doesn't suck?

Uh...well...that is...

NOOO!! Not Hinata too!!!

No! I mean, I think it's good...

Yay!!!! Hinata loves me and my song!!

You mean, she loves you more than she hates your song.

SHUT UP SASUKE!!!

Hey, hey! We're still writing on the the invite!

Holy shit! Neji's right!!...Uhm...about that jutsu that copies everything we write onto all the other ones...

Still going...still writing...

Then why are we still writing on this crap?! Naruto, you fool, look what you've started!!

ME?! It was YOU, Sasuke-teme!!

ENOUGH!!!! ALL OF YOU, STOP IT NOW!!

...Yes Hinata-chan.

...Yes Hinata.

...Yes Hinata-sama.

[End of invite


	13. Belief

Inu: Wow. Been quite a while. I look back at some of my old stuff and think, "Wow, is that really how I was? Such a kid..."

Anyway, finally, an update of sorts. Please remember, its been 2 years or so, and I've got a completely different sense of humor. Sorry if it no longer satisfies. Augh. My arm is sore, my nails' are too long, this keyboard is annoying, and Michael Jackson passing away certainly does not improve my mood.

A/N: Originally, the story line was different. I had planned the next fight with different people, and in the predictable end, Naruto vs. Gaara. I've changed my mind about a lot of things.

Warnings: Uhm, cursing, shounen ai, impossible concepts, and ooc Iruka.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

"Sasuke, you softy, you," Naruto said, grinning.

Sasuke spared him a glance, smirking, "We'll see how soft I am in bed."

Naruto immediately blushed, shutting up, and Sakura laughed.

Naruto imagined that he wouldn't be so soft with him as he was with Temari.

"Augh, I don't understand what's wrong here!" Sakura suddenly exclaimed.

"What's wrong Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked.

"Her cuts, her wounds, they're all minimal at best, but I still can't heal them! It's like they're not even there, but I can _see_ them!"

"Oh," Sasuke interjected lightly, "My bad."

Sakura looked up, confused, and gasped.

Sasuke's eyes were still a deep red, the pinwheels slowing in their spin, until they came to a complete stop and his eyes were a reflective ebony again.

"How about now?" he asked, smirking slightly.

Sakura and Naruto both looked at Temari, surprised to see all her wounds gone.

"Eh?" Naruto wondered out loud, "It's like they disappeared with the sharingan!"

Sakura's eyes widened in enlightenment, "Because they did!"

She looked outside the window to see all the damage from Sasuke and Temari's fight had disappeared as well, leaving the crowd wondering what had happened.

"None of it was real," Sakura whispered.

"What? I don't get it, Sakura-chan."

"First, Sasuke used the sharingan on Temari alone, to get her away from her fan. Then, he released her, and put everyone under it. So we _all_ saw what Sasuke wanted us to see. He never really used the fan or any of Temari's jutsu. He probably just stood there, keeping us all in his illusion."

"B-But how?! I mean, that's a whole stadium of people. You can't make all of them see your eyes!"

"No, Naruto, he can," Sakura amended, and looked up at the large screens where all the fighters' faces were currently being shown, "He used the large TV. He knew they'd get a shot of his sharingan, and knew that everyone would stare right into them. But I didn't know the sharingan could work even through a TV."

Sasuke shrugged. "I didn't either. I took a chance, and it happened to work out."

"Talk about luck," Naruto sighed.

"Gai-sensei does say luck is part of it," Sakura smiled.

"Okay, fine, I know you're dating the green freak, but don't worship his teacher with him, too!"

Sakura pouted, "I do not worship Gai-sensei! I just happened to have spent some time with him, and I realize he's not all that bad."

"She's gone to the dark side," Sasuke muttered.

Naruto nodded seriously, causing Sakura to pout again before she turned to the window and waved to Tsunade.

Tsunade nodded, watching silently as Sasuke and Naruto rejoined the field, and turned to the audience.

"Temari will be fine! Rest assured, she is in good hands. Now, we will continue the match! The next two fighters are..."

She threw the dice in the air, the force of the throw causing them to rise up high, before finally coming down on the ground before her. Tsunade bent down, looking at the names.

"Kankuro vs. Kakashi!"

Kankuro smirked and stepped forward, warily watching Kakashi enter the stage.

"Hey, Kakashi-san, just cause you're the copy cat ninja doesn't mean you can copy me," he warned, "I'll beat you before you can."

Kakashi chuckled, giving him a level stare, "I don't plan on copying you. I'll beat you with my own jutsu."

"...Not that girl thing, right?" Kankuro suddenly asked, blushing lightly.

"No, that's Naruto's," Kakashi chuckled.

Kankuro released a sigh of relief, and got into a solid fighting stance. Kakashi soon followed suit, and Tsunade nodded, turning to the audience once more.

"Let the match begin!"

Kankuro immediately unraveled a scroll, summoning Kuroari, and began his assault while Kakashi dodged swiftly.

"_Gougakyuu no jutsu!_" Kakashi shouted, fire shooting out at Kankuro.

"As if!" Kankuro shouted back arrogantly, and summoned Sanshouo, who unleased an equally powerful fire attack to counter Kakashi's, dispelling it before it could touch Kankuro.

_'Tch_,' Kakashi thought, '_This kid has grown a lot. It'll be harder than I thought._' Kakashi flipped back and landed on the ground gracefully. He quickly glanced at the crowd, listening to their sounds of wonder and awe, then snuck a look at the judges who looked impressed with Kankuro's quick thinking.

Kakashi easily dodged Kuroari and Karasu's attacks, pouting under his mask. '_There has to be a way for me to get near the little twerp. If it was just Kuroari and Karasu, I'd be able to do it, but now that he's learned to use Sanshouo, it's gonna be friggin' annoying._' Suddenly, Kakashi smirked.

Kankuro, still hammering his attacks on, took notice of the crinkling of the older nin's eyes. "What're you so happy about!?"

"Kekeke," Kakashi chuckled evilly.

"Now we know where Sasuke gets if from," Neji muttered.

"And I thought Orochimaru made him insane..." Iruka mumbled.

"Please. This guy reads _my_ literature. No one is more insane!" Jiraiya laughed happily.

Ebisu, Neji, and Iruka all moved away from him....happily.

'_Before I do this, though, I need to get him to hide in Sanshouo's frills!_'

Kakashi held his left wrist with his right hand, chakra crackling in his palm.

"_Raikiri!_"

Kankuro growled as Kakashi ran towards him with it, eyes closing slightly as sand swirled into his face. '_Damn! He could cut through Sanshouo with that! What am I supposed to do now?_' His eyes widened suddenly as an idea came to him, then narrowed again. '_I'll just use Sanshouo's attack again, and hope between that and his body, Kakashi won't reach me._'

"Sanshouo!" he cried, releasing another large wave of pointed fire towards Kakashi, and hid behind Sanshouo's frills.

Kakashi grinned to himself, glad that Kankuro fell into his trap.

"S_hunshin no jutsu!_"

Immediately, Kakashi's body flickered out of sight...

"What the hell?!" Kankuro yelled.

...and flickered back in front of Kankuro.

"Surprise!" his eye arched cheerily, and slung his lightening wielding hands towards him. Kankuro watched it all happen in slow motion, and looked up towards his little brother.

In Gaara's light emerald eyes, he saw horror. '_Horror for what?_' he wondered, Kakashi's hand still slowly moving towards his abdomen, '_Horror that I've definitely lost this match? Horror that he only has two more chances to win Naruto?_'

'_Kankuro!_' Gaara seemed to mouth, '_Dodge! Don't get hit! Don't get _hurt_!_'

Kankuro's eyes widened slightly, '_He cares about _me_? Over Naruto?_' Kakashi's hand was still moving, and he had just a few seconds to move out of the way. He'd be hurt, he'd be burned a little, and Sanshouo would definitely be destroyed by the Raikiri.

'_But,_' Kankuro thought, moving out of the way, '_Gaara's depending on me! I won't let my little brother down!_'

What seemed like ages to Kankuro finally fastfowarded again, barely dodging the attack, and was sent flying as Kakashi's hand crashed into Sanshouo, breaking the puppet apart and setting the pieces aflame. The crowd went wild with excitement as Kakashi jumped away from the damage, slightly charred by his own attack. Kankuro hit the wall a few yards away, and slid down, wincing at the pain.

'_I have to get up..._' he thought, '_I have to fight...for Gaara's happiness._'

Kakashi landed a ways away, panting slightly, his eyes narrowed by determination.

'_I have to get up..._' he thought, '_I have to fight...for Sasuke's happiness._'

'_I have to fight,_' they thought simultaneously, '_for his sake!_'

Kakashi chuckled a little. "Okay, so I lied. I will be using a few techniques I copied."

Kankuro grinned back, " I knew you couldn't resist."

Kakashi took in a deep breath, then looked up and pointed at the sky with panicked eyes, "Oh no! GIANT SNAKES!"

The entire stadium looked up, terrified of another Orochimaru attack. But there were no snakes, and no crazed long-necked man attacking Tsunade or even a semblence of something going wrong that day.

"_Suiton! Bakusui Shouha!_"

By the time everyone had looked back, the entire fighting area had suddenly turned into a large pool.

"What the hell, Kakashi?!" Iruka demanded, flushing angrily.

"Well, no one but you is allowed to see my face, 'Ruka-chan," the silver haired man replied happily, to which Iruka sighed.

"All that, just so no one would see your face? Couldn't you just do that through the mask?"

"Well, yeah, but then my mask would be wet."

"You're fighting in water! You're going to get wet anyway!"

"...Hadn't thought of that."

Iruka's eye twitched, and he brought his palm to his forehead in a light slap, sighing at the man he'd allowed into his bedroom at night.

The rest of the panel snickered rather maturely.

"So, that's your soulmate, eh?" Neji asked, nudging Iruka with his elbow.

"Shut up, Neji-kun, before I royally kick your ass."

"You sound so hot when you threaten little kids," Kakashi shouted at him, so that the entire stadium could hear it.

Quiet snickers and chuckles rippled through the crowd with the occasional loud, barking laugh as Iruka's face blanched then slowly became rosier by the second.

"Kakashi..." Iruka began.

"Yes, m'love?"

"_Shut the fuck up and fight already before I kick your perverted ass myself!_" the brunnette hollered, and sat back down in his chair with a light 'huff'.

"Iruka-sensei," Naruto gasped, "to think you used such language!"

"Naruto, you'll be next if you don't shut it," Iruka warned, eyes narrowing at him.

Naruto promptly kept his mouth shut.

Kankuro emerged from the water, and stood atop it, coughing out some of the water that had entered his lungs.

"Eww...that water totally came from inside you," he muttered weakly.

"Yeah, kind of like an indirect kiss, ne?" Kakashi grinned.

Kankuro felt like throwing up, but swallowed it back down, and glared at Kakashi.

"I _will_ beat you!" '_For Gaara..._'

"I _will_ take you down!" Kakashi responded, serious once more. '_For Sasuke..._'

Invariably, though, the will of one was stronger than the other...

'_Gaara _believes_ in me! He's actually _worried_ about my well-being! I won't let him down!_'

Because where for one there was nothing but absolute confidence, for the other there were still the wounds left behind by betrayal...

"Kuroari! Let's end this!"

"_Daibakufu no jutsu!_"

And with those wounds, doubt tainted this one's belief...

"Kakashi-sensei!!" a female voice yelled out worriedly.

"Kankuro!!" a young man shouted loudly.

With tainted belief, one can never win...

"A-And the winner is...Kankuro!" Tsunade announced.

"Hatake Kakashi has earned his team 7 points! Kankuro, though slightly less than presentable, has earned his team a perfect 10!"

'_I did it Gaara...'_ Kankuro thought tiredly, as two people he was too tired to recognize carried him to the other building, where Sakura was healing.

'_I failed Sasuke,_' Kakashi thought, near unconsciousness, noting lightly that Sasuke and Naruto were hurriedly carrying him behind Kankuro, and that someone had slipped his forehead protector back over his eye.

Sasuke, as if sensing Kakashi's thoughts, looked down and smiled bitterly, "Thank you Kakashi. I deserved less than that. I'm sorry."

Kakashi's one eye crinkled in a genuine smile, tainted belief washing out of him.

No, invariably, with tainted belief one can never win.

But one can rebuild a stronger belief.

* * *

Ah, this chapter wasn't funny at all, was it? Sorry about that. And yeah, I know a lot of you are going: "There's no way Kakashi would lose to Kankuro!" then reread the chapter, because you didn't get the message.


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